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    Default Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Just curious if anyone knows anyone who have done this, and if so, why and what were their reasons and the outcome of such.

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Yes, it happens more often then many think.

    Some couples explore this Lifestyle and find out it is not for them or not what they thought it would be.

    There are also some couples that explore it for the WRONG REASONS trying to fix a problem they may have in their relationship and this ends the relationship for them.

    Swinging is not for all, it really is not for most honestly so there can be 100's of reasons why some people try it and move on with their life.
    New Temptations You are the Party

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    We quit a number of times; other than times that we were just too tired to continue, here are some of the reasons:

    Mrs. Playmate went ballistic when she asked her husband, "Is she better than I am?" He later admitted that he hesitated far too long before replying, "Of course not, Honey! You're better!"

    Mrs. Playmate, a resident in medical school, showed up at our last play date after being on-call for days and immediately fell asleep. Time available for play was the problem here. We drifted apart.

    Mrs. Playmate went to serve in Desert Storm the next day.

    Mrs. Playmate fell in love with a co-worker and left her husband of thirty years to move in with him. Shortly afterward he went back to his wife and kids. Dr. Playmate, a college professor, married a much-younger graduate student, and quit swinging at her request.

    We "test-fucked" a couple once. Afterward, they spoke of their interest in clubs and sex with strangers. We bowed out because that was not one of our interests.

    Mrs. Alura was stricken with breast cancer.

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    We take extended times away from swinging because of time constraints and/or a lack of interest. There are times when we would much rather just focus on ourselves and our vanilla interests than take time to swing.

    We have also known people who stop swinging after having kids, after being found out by kids, change in profession where if being found out could cause major issues, health concerns, relationship problems, etc.

    Just because you decide to try swinging at one point doesn't mean you'll always be interested. Same goes for people - we had a couple we played with a few times over the course of 6 months, and then we drifted apart. They wanted to stick to pretty much straight swapping, we wanted to try some more group stuff and attend some parties/clubs (with or without them) - they decided the two didn't mingle well and we parted. There was a single guy we played with regularly, as well, and as soon as he expressed interest in going bareback, we weren't interested anymore.

    Keep up communication, and if things change... Well, that's life, isn't it?

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    I had both knees replaced when I was 48. That slowed us down. LOL . We have had couples that backed off, when their kids were teens . They didn't want them to find out about them. After the kids were on their own , they came back. No one of our group quit completely , but they got with us much less often. It all depends on your individual circumstances. Serious health problems are what broke up some of our couples.

    Sara

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    We quit for about 4 years for a variety of reasons, then got back into it. We also only go out about once a month at the most, frequently less often. I'm honestly not sure if we might not be looking at taking another long break soon as the club we used to go to is having some drama and the other club in our area might not work out for us. I'll be disappointed is that's the case, but I'll live.

    For us, swinging is a hobby. We have a few hobbies we don't do much anymore for whatever reason.

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    We stop and start for many reasons.

    Mostly it's work and schedules. I work nights, he works days. I'm going to bed when he's leaving for work.

    I work in healthcare where we are expected to be there 24/7/365. We don't get the pleasure of taking weekend and holidays off. It's job security at its finest.

    I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. I took time off for surgeries and recovery/chemo etc. Dave was free to play if he wanted. He declined.

    We mostly go in spurts. We'll play like a kid in a candy store for about a month and take a couple months off. I think this is pretty normal for all couples.

    Even though our kids don't reside with us anymore, they always come first. If they come for a visit, everything else goes by the wayside. We've never had a problem with our playmates understanding that.
    Dave & Holly

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Oh, I should have added that we stopped swapping when we were working on conceiving our kids. We began again with long term friends when she was about five month along. Mr. Playmate had never been with a pregnant woman before. I'd guess that Mrs. Alura gave him a nice memory which he still savors.

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  9. Back To Top | #9
    Esteemed member angelkin's Avatar
    Status
    Coupled, but not swinging at present

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    We have yet to take an extended break, but have taken a month or so off due to hectic lives/work schedules. We also took some time off once after one of us had hurt feelings after meeting a new friend. If one of us were to have a medical issue, that would force breaktime as well.

    We get out most weekends, but often just to hang out at the club or a party. Most times, we don't make a connection with others that makes us want to swap - but the sex at the hotel after a party or club visit is always very intense...the sexually charged atmosphere makes us very adventurous

    I think stopping and starting or taking breaks is natural even for the couples who are successful in the lifestyle.
    There's time for sleep when you're dead.

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Initially, we stopped because having our child. I also didn't get my body back after having him, which is part of a larger issue of transition for us because I have shut down emotionally (when my whole life is about transition, I turn to food). We have been in limbo in our vanilla life for two years job wise due to a relocation. We have finally made a decision so we are hoping to get back on track with us.

    I know swinging will always be there for us, which is comforting. We both miss the amazing people we have met but right now we are two cluster f's...and looking forward to smoother waters ahead instead of the choppy ones we have been in. Here's to new beginnings.

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default

    Great responses. Thanx. Was wondering if anyone who quit feels like their sex life is boring or misses the swinging in the sense of a longing void.

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cherienickole View Post
    Great responses. Thanx. Was wondering if anyone who quit feels like their sex life is boring or misses the swinging in the sense of a longing void.
    I should also have added that I'm "retired" from swinging. I feel no sense of longing for swinging, only the loss of Mrs. Alura, but that is slowly being eased since reconnecting with White Fox, who also understands me.

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alura View Post
    I should also have added that I'm "retired" from swinging. I feel no sense of longing for swinging, only the loss of Mrs. Alura, but that is slowly being eased since reconnecting with White Fox, who also understands me.

    Alura
    I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    We never feel like our sex lives are boring unless one of us is going through a bout of low libido (doesn't happen often, but it's happened a time or two in our 7 years together). Sometimes we'll miss swinging for the social aspect, but we never feel like something is MISSING necessarily.

    If one of us ever got to the point of it feeling like a void when we aren't swinging, I am fairly certain we would stop altogether and work on strengthening our relationship. We don't want to become complacent or dependent on swinging to provide anything that we couldn't do ourselves. Sure, it adds spice and variety, but there are ways to do that with just the two of us.

    For us, swinging isn't a lifestyle, it's a hobby. While we enjoy it and don't plan on quitting for good, it isn't something we need.

  15. Back To Top | #15

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cherienickole View Post
    I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
    Thank you!

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  16. Back To Top | #16
    Better than Ice Cream two4youinswva's Avatar
    Status
    Couple. He posts, She reads

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    If you're talking about swinging and then deciding not to swing again, I've noticed that happening quite a few times in real life as well as on the board. Seems many go for about nine months to a year, appear to be really into it, then they quit for one reason or another. Why they quit, I have no idea. Probably as many reasons as there are couples that do quit like this.

    As for "taking a break". I think almost every couple does this at one time or another, whether by choice or by what life has thrown at them.
    "Like Johnny and June"

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    For us we've been swinging for a while, but we've had periods in the time we've been in the lifestyle where we've stopped either for personal reasons where we had to take time to work on areas in our relationship with each other, or just because of work, we never had the time, and what time we did have, we focused on spending time together with each other.

  18. Back To Top | #18

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alura View Post
    I should also have added that I'm "retired" from swinging. I feel no sense of longing for swinging, only the loss of Mrs. Alura, but that is slowly being eased since reconnecting with White Fox, who also understands me.

    Alura
    We are VERY sorry for your loss. From what we've read from your posts. It sounds like you both were very much in love with each other. You'll be in our prayers.

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    My wife and I used to play with others but she lost interest after our son was born. I'd like to keep swinging but she's just not into it anymore. So yeah, it happens.

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Quote Originally Posted by prairieshadows View Post
    We are VERY sorry for your loss. From what we've read from your posts. It sounds like you both were very much in love with each other. You'll be in our prayers.
    Thank you.

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  21. Back To Top | #21

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    I think that more couples swing for a while and stop than continue on forever. At the very least I'd say that pretty much every couple takes breaks at some point.

    Some stop because they find swinging isn't for them. Others stop because they just lose interest or life gets in the way. And some break up.
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  22. Back To Top | #22

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    I don't know if you'd actually call it swinging, but my wife and I played for a period with another couple. (There's a whole LONG story there!) When they moved away due to a job transfer, she decided she didn't want to do it again and we never did. Too bad! It was great fun while it lasted.

  23. Back To Top | #23

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    Quote Originally Posted by Talon34420 View Post
    I don't know if you'd actually call it swinging, but my wife and I played for a period with another couple. (There's a whole LONG story there!) When they moved away due to a job transfer, she decided she didn't want to do it again and we never did. Too bad! It was great fun while it lasted.
    Wow! I can see you have been a member here for quite a while. So I welcome you to the world of active posting.

    If you were playing with another couple I'd call it swinging. But what's in a label. What's important is fun and I'm confident you have many other fun things to do.

    ~Michael
    If you want monogamy, marry a swan.

  24. Back To Top | #24

    Default Re: Do couples ever swing for a while and then stop?

    While we've been "lifestyle friendly", "in the lifestyle", playing around (always with each other present), we go in starts and stops. Sometimes we'll go foe months actively seeking partners, attending parties and meet and greets, and then we'll just stop and refresh (or call it regroup). It gives us a chance to talk about what we like, don't like, what we'd change, and what it takes to go forward. We're not the jump in the deep end of the pool types, but we do manage to float around. Plus, as others point out, sometimes life gets in the way, and you just need to take a break.

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