Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 32
  1. Back To Top | #1

    Question Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    It occurred to me recently that the definition of bi-curious covers a wide range of interest level. Here are 2 examples:

    Woman 1: A wife who's hubby wants to see her with another woman. She has never fantasized about other women. She is intersted on a very minimal level and only for her husband's pleasure. She is not at all sure if she will like it.

    Woman 2: A woman who has always fantasized about other women but has never had the experience. She is very interested and quite sure she will enjoy the experience when it happens. She may be actively seeking women to play with.

    Obviously there are many other situations and interest levels. With this range of interest levels is it fair to lump every bi-curious woman in to same definition? I've seen couples here say they don't want to play with bi-curious women, only bi. How can woman 2 get her chance? She would like to call herself bi based on her very high interest level but can't since she has never actually been with another woman. Is there another way to identify herself? Any suggestions?

    ---NaughtyKitten

  2. Back To Top | #2

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    I too have this kind of problem. I am not bi-curious, I have been with many women and have enjoyed it most of the time - but that is not what I am looking for at all, therefore I do not call myself bi. However I am not objectionable to girl on girl action if it is something that seems right in the moment- in fact I will more than likely enjoy it. It is just not what I want out of our lifestyle experience. I have had to explain this to couples we were interested in who said not unless I was bi...

    Where do I fit in?

  3. Back To Top | #3

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Help them Ves! Where's that thread about the different types of "Bi"?

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  4. Back To Top | #4

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Quote Originally Posted by DBL D
    Help them Ves! Where's that thread about the different types of "Bi"?

    Male D
    Here's the thread you're referring to, M.D.

    WHO IS BISEXUAL?*

    As you can see, there is no simple definition of bisexuality, and bisexual people are a very diverse group. There are several theories about different models of bisexual behavior. J. R. Little identifies at least 13 types of bisexuality, as defined by sexual desires and experiences. They are:

    Alternating bisexuals:
    may have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.
    Circumstantial bisexuals:
    primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only in situations where they have no access to other-sex partners, such as when in jail, in the military, or in a gender-segregated school.
    Concurrent relationship bisexuals:
    have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.
    Conditional bisexuals:
    either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children.
    Emotional bisexuals:
    have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.
    Integrated bisexuals:
    have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.
    Exploratory bisexuals:
    either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like."
    Hedonistic bisexuals:
    primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
    Recreational bisexuals:
    primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
    Isolated bisexuals:
    100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.
    Latent bisexuals:
    completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it.
    Motivational bisexuals:
    straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.
    Transitional bisexuals:
    temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

    Many of these people might not call themselves bisexual, but because they are attracted to and have relationships with both men and women, they are in fact bisexual.


    Now let's toss in a brief summary on Kinsey

    Dr. Alfred Kinsey created a scale, graduated between heterosexuality and homosexuality, to rate individuals on actual experiences and psychological reactions. The ratings are as follows** :

    0 - Entirely heterosexual.
    1 - Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.
    2 - Predominantly heterosexual, but with a distinct homosexual history.
    3 - Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
    4 - Predominantly homosexual, but with a distinct heterosexual history.
    5 - Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.
    6 - Entirely homosexual.

    Clearly anything above 0 and less than 6 can be defined as bisexual. Although many people will say "I am Kinsey (whatever)," it should be noted that subsequent researchers such as Klein have found it more useful to rate people on a variety of levels, such as "Past History," "Present History," "Present Feelings," and "Future Inclinations". Nevertheless the Kinsey scale remains a useful tool for discussion of sexuality precisely because it is so simple.


    Wow. Talk about labels.

    No more Bi Vs. Bi-curious. There are subcategories for bi's now.

    Which one are you?

    I'm a Hedonstic Bisexual, Kinsey 2. I like the sound of that. So much better than bi-curious.

    Here's a poll by jcbicouple on bisexuality.
    Ves

    The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral.

  5. Back To Top | #5

    Cool Three Types

    Mrs Fun lists; Bi, Bi-Curious or Bi-Bi.............. LOL

    Mr Fun
    fun_pairTX

  6. Back To Top | #6

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    WOW... there is a lot of info there! This is a very frustrating topic for me, so I was glad to read your question.

    I can tell you kitten, from the experience of a decidedly bi woman, it is very easy to distinguish between woman 1 and 2 in your scenerio when you have had bi-experiences. Although I consider myself situationally bi. (which isn't in the definitions above) I enjoy playing with a women in a couples situation if the spirit moves me and the woman is receptive and participating.

    A woman that is only doing it for her husband (which is more times than not) just doesn't get me in the spirit. A woman that is interested in flirting and so forth does. There are a lot of women that just want the experience, but are so unwilling to reciprocate or respond. It has really tainted my whole view of bi-curious women.

    I would have no issue with a woman that is curious if she described her curiousity like you did above- and followed through with it. I like new experiences, and I like to be a part of someones new experience. What I don't like is to be given a laundry list of "I won'ts" by a bi curious femme who wants me to play with her, without reciprocity or response.

    It is really all about how you communicate your desires to me before we play. For example, if you say you have always had a fantasy about a particular thing, and that fantasy intrigues me, then we may play. If you tell me that you don't even like the taste of your own pussy, what makes you think you will like mine? Probably not going to play.

    If you are open and willing to explore options, I am open and willing to assist. New isn't bad, indecisive, confusing and unresponsive is.
    Mrs. Indy

  7. Back To Top | #7

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Hedonistically bi 2, as well.
    Mrs. Indy

  8. Back To Top | #8

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Wow Ves! I never knew about all those sub-categories. I did know about the Kinsey scale.
    Which one are you?
    Well right now Latent-Bi since I have no experience. Kinsey scale is based on History so 0 currently.
    There are a lot of women that just want the experience, but are so unwilling to reciprocate or respond.
    That makes no sense to me. Why would someone just want a one-sided experience? That doesn't sound like fun.
    I would have no issue with a woman that is curious if she described her curiousity like you did above- and followed through with it. I like new experiences, and I like to be a part of someones new experience. What I don't like is to be given a laundry list of "I won'ts" by a bi curious femme who wants me to play with her, without reciprocity or response.
    Good to know that the bi women out there are open to wanna-be-bi women.

    We are so new to this lifestyle everything is a learning experience right now. We went to our first on-premise club last saturday. Such a culture shock! It took awhile for me to feel comfortable. We weren't in the club for 5 minutes and I was hit on by a single woman(first time in my life that has ever happened). She was cute and I was definately attracted to her. I flirted back a bit but, I am not used to the club scene and I didn't know what to say. Getting comfortable with the club was #1 priority that night. I kinda regret not pushing it since I have wanted this for a long time. It was very apparent that she was interested. Maybe next time since we are comfortable at the club now. I'm just kicking myself that I had the elusive bi-fem and let her go.
    ---NaughtyKitten

  9. Back To Top | #9

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vespertine
    Here's the thread you're referring to, M.D.

    WHO IS BISEXUAL?*


    Concurrent relationship bisexuals:
    have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.


    Hedonistic bisexuals:
    primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
    .
    I am a combintaion of those two and I believe a 2 on the scale
    Life is like Salsa. The more spices you add the better the flavor.

  10. Back To Top | #10

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Quote Originally Posted by NaughtyKitten
    That makes no sense to me. Why would someone just want a one-sided experience? That doesn't sound like fun.

    Good to know that the bi women out there are open to wanna-be-bi women.
    You would be amazed at the women that want a one-sided experience. I think it all revolves around t6he oral sex aspect of being a bi woman. Other women (and their husbands) fantasize about another woman going down on them, but when it comes to reciprocity- 99% of the time it doesn't happen. Not that reciprocity is an expected outcome for everytime, but after awhile it is expected.

    Particularly, personally only enjoy giving oral sex to another woman for her. I don't get anything out of it. But I am good at it, and sometimes in some situations it fits. And it gets irritating to me that more women just don't bite the bullet, so to speak, and return the favor. That seems to be where most women draw the line. Which is where I personally think the line is between bi women and bi curious women.

    The other issue I have found with bi curious women is that they are incredibly unpredicable. One minute they really like what you are doing, the next they don't. It is very difficult to judge.

    For the most part, I would say that 99% of the time, my bi-play has nothing to do with oral sex- giving or recieving. Honestly, I am not going to give it out if I have no chance of recieving. But it has everything to with how comfortable another woman is with my body and her own, and how comfortable she is with her sexuality.

    There are so many bi-play possiblities, some I have enjoyed and some I only fantasize about, but most women are so hung up about the oral sex aspect, they never allow themselves the freedom to really truely experience things.
    Mrs. Indy

  11. Back To Top | #11

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Quote Originally Posted by northindycpl
    but most women are so hung up about the oral sex aspect, they never allow themselves the freedom to really truely experience things.
    Sad.
    ---NaughtyKitten

  12. Back To Top | #12

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    I feel that bi-curious means that she would like to be with another women. To try new pleasures.
    NtyKittensMan

  13. Back To Top | #13

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Update:
    Things are moving really fast for us right now, since we posted our SLS ad. We met a wonderful couple, I talked about them on another thread, First Meeting from SLS ad. I have had my first bi experiences, no oral yet, but actually looking forward to it. I really enjoyed being with another woman and I have no hesitation about going furthur. I guess I could categorize myself as bi now since I have satisfied the curiosity. It has been a really freeing feeling. I have had bi feelings for a very long time and just kept it hidden. Now that I am able to express it, I feel so much more true to myself. Being able to talk to all of you on swingersboard has made a tremendous difference too. My overall attitude is more positive lately. Thank you for the suport and encouragement.
    ---NaughtyKitten

  14. Back To Top | #14

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    That's really great you're to the point where you are already redefining yourself, literally

    I never used the label as Bi-curious because I didn't even know what it was. When I started to get curious about boys I became curious about girls too. I explored for the first time when I was 17 and later on I sought it out as a one on one experience to really be able to explore that side of me without distraction and with my husband's blessing. I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a woman but who knows, if my life took that direction anything is possible.

    It is great to have a place to discuss these kinds of things. Reading about other's ideas and experiences has helped me define myself even more accurately.
    ~Lilo

  15. Back To Top | #15

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Everybody loves a bi lady, but it has surprised me how unacceptable bi men are in the swinging world.
    Yes, that is a battery powered device in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
    :fun:

  16. Back To Top | #16

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Quote Originally Posted by PiNKFLoYD
    Everybody loves a bi lady, but it has surprised me how unacceptable bi men are in the swinging world.
    You are so right about that. There is a definate double standard that even newbie me has noticed. I have many gay male friends so I'm not offended or turned off by that sort of thing. In fact its kinda hot. Even if my hubby was into it, which at present he is not, I don't know if we would advertise as such because of the attitudes out there. I don't quite understand it myself.

    ALilOEverything That's really great you're to the point where you are already redefining yourself, literally

    I never used the label as Bi-curious because I didn't even know what it was. When I started to get curious about boys I became curious about girls too. I explored for the first time when I was 17 and later on I sought it out as a one on one experience to really be able to explore that side of me without distraction and with my husband's blessing. I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a woman but who knows, if my life took that direction anything is possible.

    It is great to have a place to discuss these kinds of things. Reading about other's ideas and experiences has helped me define myself even more accurately.
    I also don't think I could be in an exclusive relationship with a woman, mainly because I enjoy men, sexually and otherwise. It is totally different.

    I have redefined myself. I guess inside I always thought of myself as bi but never had the chance to explore that, to see if it was just fantasy. That is what bi-curious meant to me, unsure but interested. Now that I have had the experience and enjoyed it I know that it is not just fantasy for me.

    It is really refreshing to be able to talk with others about this and other things. It is hard to keep these things inside and try to just talk to yourself about them, or your partner. I know all about that, trying to keep it inside. I love being open about it now, with the board and few select friends. I will never be out with everyone in my life but just having a few friends to discuss things with is very freeing. Thanks everyone!
    ---NaughtyKitten

  17. Back To Top | #17

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    This is something I have been trying to sort out as well. We are relatively new to the lifestyle and I was pleasantly surprised to feel free enough to explore my bi-curiosity.

    After lots of flirting, caressing, and kissing, and a few experiences with oral sex, I'm no longer "curious." I definitely enjoy the sensuality of flirting kissing and caressing, but do draw the line at giving oral sex, and by extension, prefer to not receive it so I don't feel "beholden." I've received (and mostly enjoyed) from several and have reciprocated with 2 women. Those two times didn't excite me like it does with a man, and in fact I had to push myself to try it. I even tried the 2nd time bc of wondering if I was too nervous, etc, the first time. Who knows, maybe it's still my socially-learned hangups keeping me from feeling it and eventually I could fully enjoy it, but for now I've decided that I gave it a shot, and just didn't like it.

    Bi-curious? Not anymore. Completely straight? not that either, since it'd be awkward to not be able to caress and kiss and be affectionate with other women. But certainly not completely bi, nor situational, hedonistic, or any of that. Hmm, can we call it anatomically bi?

  18. Back To Top | #18

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    I'm bi in MFM situations, but I don't seek out 1 on 1 relationships with a man. At least I never have before...
    Yes, that is a battery powered device in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
    :fun:

  19. Back To Top | #19

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    I classify myself as...sexual....i like to have sex with both equally. Yet I dont call myself bisexual unless I absolutly have to (like in the case of profiles there never seems to be a spot of sexual) I have the best of both sexual worlds...

  20. Back To Top | #20

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    I don't feel like any of the "labels" in the first couple of posts fit me.

    I describe myself as bi-curious because, while I've never had a bi experience, I have had fantasies about one or two women I've known in the past. I've had one or two that went pretty far, but for a variety of reasons, the timing (or people involved) wasn't right to act upon them. The closest I've ever gotten to an actual experience was a very nice, non-platonic kiss which was extremely pleasant, but that's about it.

    How far would I go in any given situation? I have absolutely no idea, but I'm generally open to experimentation. Heck, that was how I lost my virginity in the first place! Love sure didn't have much to do with it!

    Hmmm. Maybe "bi-experimental" would be a better description - "Straight, but want to experiment for the sake of the experience, rather than solely for the partner's pleasure."

    Z
    Two goes into one a lot more than 1/2 as it turns out.

  21. Back To Top | #21

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Hey PinkFloyd, you're exactly right about that. In fact there've been a lot of threads about just that. And you'd think that swingers would be much less homophobic than the general public, wouldn't you? Oh well.

    Now I'm not even bi but sexual exploration is about trying new things and seeing if you enjoy them..., so! And, in the fantasies my wife and I share we both can see some male/male contact.

    BTW..., you say you are a writer? Me too. I'd be interested in getting to know you better if you'd like.
    58 years old and married for 34 of 'em.
    "Caged contentedly, yet still looking out beyond the bars."

  22. Back To Top | #22

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Mike and Jan I'll send you a PM.
    Yes, that is a battery powered device in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
    :fun:

  23. Back To Top | #23

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    The first time I mentioned I was interested in "the bi thing" to 72 she said, "Oh ? You and another dude ? Whatever turns you on, dear. "

    I gently explained, "Ummm, noooooooooo......I meant you and another chick."

    (She knew this, of course but she's a smart ass as well as as good ass.)

    We were seeing a couple at the time and the wife of that pair was bi and 72 thought she was cute but every time we got together my missus went for want she liked best which is, well, dick.

    When she's ready she'll go for it and I'll be there supporting her.

    In the corner.

    Touching myself.

    And going, "hum-a-nuh, hum-a-nuh, hum-a-nuh". facelick

  24. Back To Top | #24

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Quote Originally Posted by PiNKFLoYD
    Everybody loves a bi lady, but it has surprised me how unacceptable bi men are in the swinging world.
    My first post here again in about a year, I doubt anyone missed me

    Anyways, the reason for this is quite simple. Most of the men in swinging are straight, to them (and a large number of the women) guy-guy contact is a turn off. They don't want to see it at the clubs/parties so it doesn't happen.

    It is a double standard but we are pretty normal in that neither of us want anything to do with male bisexuality. It grosses us out. Its not fair, but when it comes to sex we are willing to be not fair.

    I personally do not WANT bisexual men in swinging. Its because of the disease factor. Male - Male contact has the highest rate of disease transmittance for sexually transmitted diseases. I personally know a good number of men who died during the 80's when this all started. Swinging is risky behavior as it is, I really don't wish to increase that risk factor any more than I have to.

  25. Back To Top | #25

    Default Re: Bi/Bi-curious/Bi-Other?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicup
    I personally do not WANT bisexual men in swinging. Its because of the disease factor. Male - Male contact has the highest rate of disease transmittance for sexually transmitted diseases. I personally know a good number of men who died during the 80's when this all started. Swinging is risky behavior as it is, I really don't wish to increase that risk factor any more than I have to.
    Chicup, it would seem you're painting things with a pretty broad brush here. From what I've seen and experienced, lots of men who say they're bi-curious are just that... curious. No different from any females who say the same. They're in the lifestyle to experience new things and perhaps that's on their list. And, not unlike females who explore their bi-sides, they'll either decide they like it and seek more experiences out, or they won't.

    Either way, being open-minded myself... I want to be around same. That's why bi- or bi-curious males are such a turn-on for me.

    Also... from what I have read, the incidence of STDs in the swinging community is probably lower than that of the general population, due to the diligence of swingers practicing safe sex.

    As always, JMHO... YMMV.
    ~Dynamar

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us
The Swingers Board is an online swinging community with something for everyone. Experienced swingers and those just curious about the swinging lifestyle are all welcome. We invite you to participate in the discussion forums, member blogs, swinger chat room, swinger stories, member photo galleries, swinger club listings and reviews, and all other areas of the site.


This site is run by a real swinger couple with the assistance of a great team of forum moderators who are also swingers. This site is free, and membership is open to all legal adults. While guests are able to view much of the site, registering will allow you access to all areas and full privileges.


Safe, sane, funny, smart, sexy - become a member and experience the Swingers Board!

Links
SwingLifeStyle Where REAL Swingers Meet

SwingTowns - It's Different @swingTowns

Swinger Zone Central The Zone - Get Into It

SDC SwingersDateClub for couples

Kasidie Sexually social

Adult FriendFinder Find Adult Sex and Friends

Alt.com BDSM and Fetish Dating Site

Wicked Temptations Wickedly Sexy Clothing

Sex Toy Fun Huge Selection, Great Prices!

Swingers Board
Subscribe to our newsletter!
E-mail Address

subscribe
unsubscribe