Epic Fail In Berlin Swing Club - hopefully you will find this as amusing as we do

So the wife and I were recently in Berlin for a few days, our normal business/pleasure...Berlin BTW was super cool. We had basically four nights to run around the city, see everything we can, have some super romantic dinners, drink lotsa beer and practice mein Deutsch.

Unbeknownst to us turns out Berlin is a pretty decadent city, legalized prostitution (in all forms), night clubs that don't seem to close, and my favorite the fetishists. You haven't lived until you have seen a boat full a leather clad guys sailing down a city river,.

So the inevitable comes up, do we want to check out a swing club. Ok, great, there's like ten of them in the city and nearby suburbs. There we are at dinner and I am google searching what I can find. I am not exactly sure what we can get to as we are using public transport, I have no idea how late it runs to our hotel, and not really sure what the taxi situation is in Berlin either.

Anyhow after looking at ten or so references, scrolling through Deutsch and English, referencing their location to where we are and watching the battery on our cell phone die, we pick one and of we go.

I did mention mein Deutsch is enough to order beer, food and have a reasonably intelligent conversation with a four year old about his family, right?

So we find the place ok, typical city swing club. Nondescript beautifully carved oak door, well lit with a buzzer. I ring the buzzer and out pop two big German guys dressed in top hats and tails. They are looking at us rather sternly. One starts telling me something in fluent German, that I am not understanding whatsoever. Eventually he pauses looking at me and expecting a response. As my rather beer addled mind had no clue what he was saying, In my best German, I hit him with 'Sprechen sie Englisch?', which if you can't guess was...I hope this fucking guy speaks English, and I also hope we haven't done something wrong?

He lightened up after that. He went on to explain that this was a fetish club (who knew that existed?), and you had to be in all black, preferably black leather. So I am going to repeat this,

WHO KNEW FETISH CLUBS EXIST??

So four nights of the week these guys have an all bi party where everybody is wearing leather or black. Four nights a week, leather or black. Unbelievable!! I kinda think I didn't pick up that this was a fetish club, because I never thought SUCH A THING COULD EXIST!!

Sure one night a week, once a month a fetish take over event, but the fact is there is enough market in Berlin to make a four night a week club out of it. My mind is blown!!

Anyhow the rest of the story is rather uneventful, no we didn't have black clothes at the hotel, and buying some fetish wear from them for one night seemed rather cost prohibitive. So we thanked the guys for the information, smiled at the people dressed in black and walking into the place, and went back to the train station.

So now the wife and I are figuring out how to move to Berlin, ok just kidding, kinda?

It sounds like you should visit the capital of my country too.

Apparently, swing clubs in Europe favor black generally.

A travel note from the operator of our upcoming cruise writes, "Clubs in Europe are different than you will find in the states. 1st of all, most are not BYOB and all of your drinks are usually included. One major difference is that at some point, most everyone changes into lingerie or underwear. There are lockers provided, so make sure you have a bag with something sexy to change into. Ladies are asked to bring some sort of lingerie, teddy or corset and guys can change into boxers, briefs or a robe. Many clubs ask the men to either wear no shirt or a t shirt and believe it or not, most clubs recommend a black t shirt."

Interestingly, Fruit-of-the-Loom, that most staid of USA underwear companies, will happily sell me black t-shirts with front pockets literally as singles, pairs, fours and even by the dozen.

Great story! I can't wait to hear about your next adventure.

It sounds like you should visit the capital of my country too.

I have never been with the wife, and really should!! Still had some great times there when I was single.

Apparently, swing clubs in Europe favor black generally.

 

A travel note from the operator of our upcoming cruise writes, "Clubs in Europe are different than you will find in the states. 1st of all, most are not BYOB and all of your drinks are usually included. One major difference is that at some point, most everyone changes into lingerie or underwear. There are lockers provided, so make sure you have a bag with something sexy to change into. Ladies are asked to bring some sort of lingerie, teddy or corset and guys can change into boxers, briefs or a robe. Many clubs ask the men to either wear no shirt or a t shirt and believe it or not, most clubs recommend a black t shirt."

 

Interestingly, Fruit-of-the-Loom, that most staid of USA underwear companies, will happily sell me black t-shirts with front pockets literally as singles, pairs, fours and even by the dozen.

Exactly this is mostly why we wanted to go to see what it was like! You don't know what you don't know, know what I mean?

Great story! I can't wait to hear about your next adventure.

Thanks, working on them.

Makes some of the clubs around here seem kind of plain.

I don't know if this is so much much as an epic fail of a swingers' club as a fail of a fetish club,

I don't know if this is so much much as an epic fail of a swingers' club as a fail of a fetish club,

Well the plan was a swingers club...so much for the plan:lol:

Ooo, this sounds like my kind of club. I'd love to find out what it's like inside since we are both bi. Mental note: pack leather and black clothes if we go to Berlin.