Tricked into being left out so he could fuck my wife

When my wife and I were fairly new to swinging we attended the Halloween costume party at a local off premises swingers club at a suites hotel. We had been to other monthly parties with this group for five months and met a lot of fun couples for dancing, drinking, flirting and getting acquainted. That evening, I had talked with one couple about joining them in their hotel suite after the dance for a full swap. The wife of another younger couple approached my wife as the dance was winding down and told her that her husband would like to spend some time with her in their hotel suite after the dance. My wife asked "What about my husband?" and the other wife said "I'll take care of him." My wife was more attracted to her husband than the husband I had talked to earlier, my wife agreed to join them for some playtime.

On the way to their suite we stopped by the hospitality suite. In the adjoining bedroom, a couple was having sex on the sofa bed they had pulled out and another woman bare to the waist was sitting on the foot of the bed as if waiting for someone. She motioned for me to come over and when I did she immediately unzipped my pants and took my cock in her mouth and began sucking me. To say it was an unexpected surprise was a big understatement. Just as it was beginning to feel really good, my wife came in and pulled me away to join the couple she had agreed to party with. We followed them to their suite on a different floor.

Upon entering their suite, the other wife took my wife's hand and led her into the adjoining bedroom and her husband followed them into the bedroom. The other wife came back into the living room and closed the French doors behind her. She undressed down to a sexy black teddy and poured herself another vodka and 7 Up and joined me on the couch. We had just met them and she told me they had a young son and they didn't get with other couples very often. She told me she had recently had a boob job which she was very proud of and wanted me to see them. Baring her breasts she invited me to touch and feel. She didn't have any scars from the surgery and explained the surgeon had made the incisions in her arm pits.

She said she wanted a cigarette and we went out on the balcony. She sat in my lap and talked and I caressed her and felt her breasts as she smoked. We went back inside and started kissing. About then I could hear my wife through the bedroom door making love noises as her partner was getting her close. I thought she's having a good time and soon she had her first orgasm. My partner decided she needed another drink and insisted on going to get more ice herself. She went out in her black teddy and was gone a long time. I sat on the couch and listened to my wife in the next room moaning, talking nasty and having orgasm after orgasm. I got an erection just listening to her and knowing what a great lay she was.

Finally the other wife came back into the room and explained she ran into someone in the corridor and they talked a long time. No kidding. Her husband was fucking my wife's brains out while I sat by myself waiting "to be taken care of." By then I was really pissed off and neither of us were "in the mood."

We sat there a few more minutes not talking much and listening to our spouses having sex. Finally, my wife and her husband came out of the bedroom looking very pleased with themselves. I more or less drug my wife out of there and on the way to the car explained what had happened. She was surprised and felt bad for me saying that her understanding had been that we were going to do full swap with the other couple. "But she said she was going to take care of you! my wife exclaimed. If I had known the "taking care" meant babysitting you while her husband had sex with me, I wouldn't have agreed to go back to their suite with them."

I didn't know what to do when events were unfolding. What should I have done when it looked like we had been misled and tricked? In hindsight it was obvious that the other wife picked out and set up a very attractive but naive newbie wife for her husband to fuck and managed to lead me on and keep me distracted while he fucked her. I vowed that never again would I ever let myself or my wife get sucked in and taken advantage of like happened that time. The only good thing to come out of the experience was that my wife had a great time and and enjoyed being with the husband. That was possible because she didn't know what was going or -- or more particularly not going on -- in the other room.

What would you have done if you found yourself in that situation? What should I have done? What should I do if it looked like a similar situation was developing again?

What would you have done if you found yourself in that situation? What should I have done? What should I do if it looked like a similar situation was developing again?

I would have very possibly fallen for the same stunt. I think many people would.

However, we have one rule that would have kept that from happening. We don't play in separate rooms except with couples we've played with before.

So, she would have had to "take care of me" right there on the same bed at the same time, or it wouldn't have happened.

Sorry you had such a shitty experience. But, you seem to be going about it the right way by trying to learn from the experience. I bet it doesn't happen to you again!

You were obviously set up. I guess my reaction would have depended on how long she was gone. I think after 15 minutes or so I would been jumping out of my skin and pounding on the door. You got suckered and I don't think there was anything you could have done about it without making a scene. Then YOU would have looked like an ass. I'm sure you would have heard "well I was gonna".

two4youinswva said:

However, we have one rule that would have kept that from happening. We don't play in separate rooms except with couples we've played with before.

 

So, she would have had to "take care of me" right there on the same bed at the same time, or it wouldn't have happened.

two4youinswva presents the best way to avoid this situation, and it is why we approach swinging the same way. We are very comfortable in separate rooms, even swinging separately, but first we play together with a couple in the same room. If that goes well we then advance to different types of arrangements at future play dates, if all are comfortable.

I see your experience as something that could happen to anyone, new or experienced, and you handled yourself well.

Good to see you posting again, Jim.

This is a tricky ploy and it probably would have hooked me too. It's a particular weakness of mine that I tend to trust people until I get a reason to not (and hopefully I figure it out before there's any significant pain).

My wife and I don't like closed doors between us at a party, so when the french doors were closed I would have mentioned our preference and had them left open. I'm not certain that would have made a big difference in the outcome of your evening.

I'm pretty laid back in the club. However, with my skeptical side which rears it's ugly head, I probably would have made an ass of myself unfortunately, because it seems instincts are correct most of the time because when she left the room I probably would have went into the bedroom and pulled the sarcastic excuse, of "I'm going to watch, seeing as your wife has issues." Not that I could have gotten into watching, I would just feel slighted by him and his wife so why not. As for anyone wondering how my wife would feel about my actions: Well let's say that neither one of us want the other to feel uncomfortable about any situation, because we are in this for US (not just one of us).

For future: I can't know whether I would have known something was up, but the "only same room" rule is definitely a good place to start.

I can certainly understand, if you felt like you got the shaft, because well you did. I have to say though that you handled this very well. Don't let this drive you from swinging, just take it as a learning experience, keep the communication open with your wife, and possibly take this opportunity to re-evaluate your boundaries of acceptable situations & non-acceptable situations as you talk to your wife.

I know this would have hooked us because it has happened to both of us before. That being said, we also have both had similar situations when playing in the same room with a couple, where one of us is meshing with their partner nicely and the other one isn't. How we handle it depends on the situation, but generally we do the same thing you did and then don't play with them again. For my part, if Mrs. GT is having a great time I am not going to interrupt it. By the same token though, if one of us notices the other one isn't having a good time, we usually call an end to the whole thing right then.

Don't feel bad about it. This was obviously planned from the beginning and you were set up. Reading the scenario, I can see that, under the right circumstances, we would fall for such a ruse as well.

I am glad to see that you realize that the duplicity was on part of the other couple, and your wife is blameless in this. As a matter of fact, she appears to be as much of a victim as you are, because she was obviously taken advantage of. Other couples would have blamed each other. You have the wisdom to avoid that trap.

As for avoiding such a scheme in the future.... well, with further experience you'll find yourself harder to trick. Also, as two4youinswva already pointed out... keep it strictly "same room" until you know the other couple well. This is also a good idea strictly from a safety/security perspective. Until we get to know them pretty well, I simply won't leave Amelia alone with another guy. It's not because I don't trust her, it's because I don't trust him.

It looks like most folks quickly came to about the same conclusion based on the accounting of the events in the original post. I've played this scenario in my mind several times, mostly looking for some kind of way we can detect a similar situation unfolding in our laps and prevent the less than happy ending.

The other wife hasn't had an opportunity to tell her side of this story, and I'm wondering.... WHAT IF she came to the conclusion that there was a lack of chemistry between you and her. WHAT IF she didn't have the guts to tell you that she had changed her mind about fucking you. Perhaps the smokes and booze were her way of trying to develop the courage to say something - it just didn't happen. Perhaps the ice thing became her (chicken shit) way of avoiding confrontation.

I'm not saying her possible poor communication skills makes this all right, I'm just exploring alternative perspectives. Imagine how it might have changed your perception of the encounter IF she had said something like, "I think you're sweet and when I first saw you, I wanted you to fuck my brains out. But something inside me is telling me it's all wrong. I'm sorry, but I can't see myself having sex with you."

Snookered....

Chalk it up to experience. No harm done really and hell, your wife had a great time and for me personally, I would have been just fine with that.

No sense in going through woulda-coulda-shoulda, for one reason or another it didn't work out for the both of you, only one of you.

However, this scenario sounds like a calculated plan, almost routine. I'd be willing to bet this isn't the first time this other couple has play this game.

If what happened bothers you that much, then don't swing in separate rooms. When you separate, you get what you get.

You got your feelings hurt and your wife's sympathy, I'd leave it at that and let it go.

More than likely you will see this couple at future socials. Don't be mad or upset, that isn't going to buy you anything.

Thanks for sharing your story. It was interesting.

I'm Imagine how it might have changed your perception of the encounter IF she had said something like, "I think you're sweet and when I first saw you, I wanted you to fuck my brains out. But something inside me is telling me it's all wrong. I'm sorry, but I can't see myself having sex with you."

That's a great point, does everything have to be a "Set up" - maybe she just wasn't up for it when the time came, or maybe he didn't make her feel up to it.

Correct me if I'm wrong but weren't you having oral with a lady just prior to this event, what was her husband doing for your wife? (of course that only counts for those that like to keep score).

Sometimes you just have to let things flow, sometimes everyone hit's it off, sometimes they don't...

My gut instinct on this one tells me you got suckered, Jim. And I'm real sorry that happened to you. I am glad, however, that you realize it's the other couple's fault and not your wife's. She got taken advantage of, too.

And I think you handled the situation remarkably well, as you may likely come across this couple at other parties/socials. So what to do now? I suggest being more wary, which I'm sure will be your natural reaction anyway. And you may want to consider (at least for a little while) not doing separate room play until you get to know a couple. A lot of us (Mr. Sweet and myself included) have that rule for just such reasons. If we're right next to each other, we can see what's happening (or not happening) with each other, and react accordingly.

By the way, even if it was a matter of the other woman chickening out, as Socolais suggested, it was doesn't change the end result of what happened. Your wife and the other hubby had a grand ole' time, leaving you out in the cold.

Hopefully, ya'll can just learn from this one and move on to happier experiences.

Been there, before. Didn't go back. We were glad to find out that this fucker didn't find some way to knock her up, while he was screwing both of us.

Happened to me once, stayed with a lady at a party I was interested in only to find out after everyone else was gone that she was broke ...

The other wife hasn't had an opportunity to tell her side of this story, and I'm wondering.... WHAT IF she came to the conclusion that there was a lack of chemistry between you and her.

socolais... I thought about this too, but it seems like she went out of her way to get him "turned off". First she started to talk about her child. Then she started giving details about her surgery ("they went in through the armpits.") Not really sexy talk.

After reading over this numerous times I see the whole incident as a big failure at communication. No where did I see that the four of you discussed what everyone's expectations of the night were.

What would you have done if you found yourself in that situation?

If I find myself in any situation I'm not comfortable in...I remove myself from it.

What should I have done? What should I do if it looked like a similar situation was developing again?

I'm going to point out some points in the evening that if they had been handled differently, the evening might have gone more to your liking.

My wife asked "what about my husband?" and the other wife said "I'll take care of him."

Your wife could have asked for clarification...How are you going to take care of him?

Upon entering their suite, the other wife took my wife's hand and led her into the adjoining bedroom and her husband followed them into the bedroom.

Why didn't you follow them in? You could have. This would have been a good opportunity for all to have sat on the bed together and discuss expectations.

The other wife came back into the living room and closed the French doors behind her. She undressed down to a sexy black teddy and poured herself another vodka and 7 Up and joined me on the couch. We had just met them and she told me they had a young son and they didn't get with other couples very often. She told me she had recently had a boob job which she was very proud of and wanted me to see them. Baring her breasts she invited me to touch and feel. She didn't have any scars from the surgery and explained the surgeon had made the incisions in her arm pits.

 

She said she wanted a cigarette and we went out on the balcony. She sat in my lap and talked and I caressed her and felt her breasts as she smoked. We went back inside and started kissing. About then I could hear my wife through the bedroom door making love noises as her partner was getting her close. I thought she's having a good time and soon she had her first orgasm. My partner decided she needed another drink and insisted on going to get more ice herself. She went out in her black teddy and was gone a long time.

It's possible that during this time she was waiting for you to make a more aggressive move.

I sat on the couch and listened to my wife in the next room moaning, talking nasty and having orgasm after orgasm. I got an erection just listening to her and knowing what a great lay she was.

You could have gotten up, opened the door, walked in and joined them. Since there was no discussion earlier in the evening as to the way everyone was expecting it to play out, and unless you had agreed that your wife and this man were going to play the whole evening alone, there's no reason you couldn't have joined them. After all, sitting there by yourself wasn't making you happy.

Her husband was fucking my wife's brains out while I sat by myself waiting "to be taken care of." By then I was really pissed off and neither of us were "in the mood."

The only good thing to come out of the experience was that my wife had a great time and and enjoyed being with the husband. That was possible because she didn't know what was going or -- or more particularly not going on -- in the other room.

It's great that you found something good out of a less than ideal situation. That's the important thing. Hindsight is 20/20 so don't beat yourself up over this. You've learned something and in future encounters you'll do better. Just remember, everyone needs to be on the same page and communicate with the other couple what your expectations are as well as theirs.

I don't think this is really a newbie issue, if someone is going to be intentionally deceptive and scheming they could have sucked in a very experienced couple just as well.

99% of the time when we play we are the ones that have the room and we are the ones that determine who are interested and we are the ones that make the offer to play. Yes sometimes it would be nice to just be cute and flirty and let people come to us and do all the work and make us the offers but when you are the ones that are making the offer you are the one in the drivers seat and are under control of all the conditions rather than if you are accepting someone else's offer.

Let's break this down, they made the offer to your wife without any recognition that you existed..red Flag. When your wife asked about you, the wife said she'd "take care of you" but had you actually met her or developed any rapport with her? Not a real red flag per se but it is highly unusual that a female will agree to have sex with someone else's husband sight-unseen. Then when the got you to their room they physically separated you two without any prior discussion of playing separately..another red flag.

Like I said before if someone is really devious and skilled they could have pulled that one over on any of us. However if you two had worked together and schmoozed a couple of your choosing together and made the offer to another couple to come to your room then you could have determined the conditions and scenario as opposed to following their lead.

With this approach you will get rejected a lot more but you are doing things on your terms. Be the fisherman and not the fish. And definitely do not be the worm.

 

...when you are the ones that are making the offer you are the one in the drivers seat and are under control of all the conditions rather than if you are accepting someone else's offer.

 

...if you two had worked together and schmoozed a couple of your choosing together and made the offer to another couple to come to your room then you could have determined the conditions and scenario as opposed to following their lead.

 

With this approach you will get rejected a lot more but you are doing things on your terms.

When we play in another person's hotel room we are as much "in control" as when we play in our room. The conditions of play are our conditions as well as the couple we choose to play with. We go there knowing this, we don't do anything in another person's room that we wouldn't do in our own room and we don't expect those invited to our room to go beyond what they are comfortable with.

When we rent the room we don't see it as a way to have more control over people or how we play.

We have been taught that when going to someone's home you are a guest, you don't wander through rooms that you've not been given permission to walk through and you don't snoop around. You are, in that situation, stepping into another person's personal realm and, therefore, follow certain rules of etiquette. Even then, when in their home, whether there to swing or for a vanilla gathering, you can walk out if you come upon a situation that you're not comfortable with.

In swinging, people may mistakenly forget that the hotel room is just an evening in a room rented for sex. It is a bedroom and a bathroom and it doesn't belong to the swingers, it's the property of the hotel.

No matter who has the room or who makes the request to play, the terms should be discussed beforehand and all parties should go in feeling they are in control of themselves and not there "under the terms" of someone else.

Have also had that experience. We were invited to a second play meeting (after a first vertical meeting) a couple's house ostensibly because she found me hot. After my wife and her husband left to play in a separate room she asks me if its OK if we don't play. I wasn't going to force her so I said OK and we did the dishes together from dinner (that's right - dishes). Then she tells me not to tell her husband or my wife that we didn't do anything. I told my wife anyway.

Later, we did have the over to our house for a vertical dinner as despite the problem I did like them both. I would have been happy to change the relationship to vertical to keep them as friends. My wife was pissed at them so fixed a lousy dinner that was highly spiced and it made them sick. We didn't know spicy food didn't agree with them but unintended payback was had.

I do appreciate the tips I've read in this thread to perhaps avoid the situation in the future.

Have also had that experience. We were invited to a second play meeting (after a first vertical meeting) a couple's house ostensibly because she found me hot. After my wife and her husband left to play in a separate room she asks me if its OK if we don't play. I wasn't going to force her so I said OK and we did the dishes together from dinner (that's right - dishes). Then she tells me not to tell her husband or my wife that we didn't do anything. I told my wife anyway.

Wow. That was a lousy situation.

While I guess it can be a matter of no chemistry between you and her (hey, it happens), I'm thinking that her husband forced her into this. Not a good situation at all.

They were probably good people, but you don't want to be near that particular time bomb when it goes off.

Have also had that experience. We were invited to a second play meeting (after a first vertical meeting) a couple's house ostensibly because she found me hot. After my wife and her husband left to play in a separate room she asks me if its OK if we don't play. I wasn't going to force her so I said OK and we did the dishes together from dinner (that's right - dishes). Then she tells me not to tell her husband or my wife that we didn't do anything. I told my wife anyway.

 

Later, we did have the over to our house for a vertical dinner as despite the problem I did like them both. I would have been happy to change the relationship to vertical to keep them as friends. My wife was pissed at them so fixed a lousy dinner that was highly spiced and it made them sick. We didn't know spicy food didn't agree with them but unintended payback was had.

 

I do appreciate the tips I've read in this thread to perhaps avoid the situation in the future.

Apparently this ploy (with several variations) is more common than I realized. Perhaps I'm somewhat sheltered from this because almost all our play is at house parties. I'll have to keep an eye out for similar situations as they begin to unfold. If a husband forces his wife to swing so he can get his jollies, I can't believe he'd have any respect for my wife either.

As for the "payback", I think we wouldn't want to swing with any of you guys. I happen to like spicy foods and probably wouldn't even notice if I were in a revenge situation like that.

You say you'd like a vertical friendship with these guys, but your account of the actions doesn't sound friendly to me.

Birds of a feather....

With more than 50 percent of all marriages failing, why should anybody be surprised if other relationships and/or encounters which include physical interactions often don't meet with everybody's expectations?

When I was still enjoying the lifestyle, I was pleased if even ten percent went my way.

With more than 50 percent of all marriages failing, why should anybody be surprised if other relationships and/or encounters which include physical interactions often don't meet with everybody's expectations?

When I was still enjoying the lifestyle, I was pleased if even ten percent went my way.

Be that as it may, but our marriage is doing quite fine, and we would rather not be dragged into a situation because a couple is playing passive-aggressive games to hurt each other.

Hey, I don't care what they do to each other. It's none of my business. But we are not your tools to be used as an instrument of war against each other. But if I find out that somebody intentionally did something that ended up hurting Amelia (either emotionally or physically), I'm throwing that person through a wall.

I'm a pretty laid back guy. It takes a lot to set me off. But that's one of my trigger points.

What should I have done when it looked like we had been misled and tricked? In hindsight it was obvious that the other wife picked out and set up a very attractive but naive newbie wife for her husband to fuck and managed to lead me on and keep me distracted while he fucked her. I vowed that never again would I ever let myself or my wife get sucked in and taken advantage of like happened that time. The only good thing to come out of the experience was that my wife had a great time and and enjoyed being with the husband. That was possible because she didn't know what was going or -- or more particularly not going on -- in the other room.

 

What would you have done if you found yourself in that situation? What should I have done? What should I do if it looked like a similar situation was developing again?

At the very least suggest to the other wife - why don't we join them in the bedroom! If that didn't work join them anyway. If the other wife doesn't want to play there is no reason that you shouldn't be able to join in the fun and turn a 2some into a 3some!

At any point in the evening did you make any aggressive moves towards the other wife?

After my wife and her husband left to play in a separate room she asks me if its OK if we don't play. I wasn't going to force her so I said OK and we did the dishes together from dinner (that's right - dishes). Then she tells me not to tell her husband or my wife that we didn't do anything. I told my wife anyway.

If that were me, i would have gone straight in and joined the fun with my wife... not that i have a problem with Mrs phoenix getting more "attention" than i do (our first encounters have basically been her filling out her girl on girl cravings, with me as a 3rd wheel, or her getting male attention while she pleasures me.)

last party she was hooking up with a guy in the spa (we were chatting to that couple all night), and i was fine with not receiving attention from the fem of the couple, as the situation lent itself to more MfM or FMF (long story, F in the couples first time, and had some boundaries to make herself comfortable. As newbies ourselves we understood completely. still had an awesome night).

but i was fine with that BECAUSE we knew the boundaries and expectations from the start. if they had have proposed a full swap and then told us that the Fem wasn't comfortable with penetration from another guy, AFTER he started with Mrs Phoenix, then "full swap" isn't full swap anymore, and we (mrs phoenix hates seeing me left out) would have made the best of the situation, and changed OUR rules to suit. and i certainly wouldn't have been doing the dishes.

in going in to play with your wife, your not "telling on the other wife", but your making it clear that your not going to LIE to your wife to cover the other couples communication problems... the most important thing to us is OPEN COMMUNICATION. and we're not going to compromise that, or the trust that comes along with it, for the sake of another couple.

with her in their hotel suite after the dance. My wife asked "what about my husband?" and the other wife said "I'll take care of him." My wife was more attracted to her husband than the husband I had talked to earlier, my wife agreed to join them for some playtime.

We have an idea about the situation: could the wife of the other couple have actually been an escort/prostitute? The situation sounds very suspicious to us and we have seen other couples that we suspected were a single guy with an escort. We haven't had a situation anywhere close to this come up with us, but my first suspicion is that the guy hired an escort and her job was to get the girl he wanted. For her part she avoided having to fuck anyone and got paid anyway. One of the more experienced swinger couples we've met has described almost exactly that situation to us, something they've seen done. That is all third hand though.

The idea that you would just sit there all that time in my opinion makes you a fool even if you were tricked. 
 

i would have jump through those doors and smacked the shit out of him and changed his facial features and made him look different after I was done. 
 

now if I would have done what you did and waited and nothing happened and the husband comes out from fucking my wife and nothing else is said about taking care of me, I would have brawled right there and it would have been on and poppin from me and payback would have been served like a buffet. I see it this way, you tricked me to fuck my wife with the understanding that it was going to cool for me to do the same with your wife. Now you feel that you got away with something with my wife and laugh about it later. My mindset is you laugh about it in the hospital while getting stitches and we all good now. 
 

mainly you now brought unneeded problems with me and my wife and my wife feeling bad because she had no idea what was going on and if she did know, she would not have continued. As for my wife, once she got in the room and did not hear anything going on with me and the other wife, she SHOULD have stopped it right away and say let me check in my husband. Because she protects me and I protect her from getting hurt feelings. 
 

now if I see them at another event, I would tell others what they did to us and make them the tricksters that they are so others don’t get the same result that we did. 
 

But for me…see you just do nothing but sitting there and knowing something is up and your spider senses are tingling, you could have just simply opened the door and ask dude is this a trick, your wife is doing nothing. Then my wife could have stop but knowing myself very 👍 good, it would have to gotten physical because I am not good at being ok with being tricked and taken advantage of 

I don't really know if that was a "trick" or not.  Maybe the woman changed her mind at the last minute.  I never go into these situations where it's perceived as some kind of a contract where both partners are obligated to sleep with the other.  I always know that any and all parties can back out at any time.  Sometimes things work out great and sometimes they don't.  That's just the way it goes.

On 4/16/2008 at 9:49 PM, lovinher said:

You got suckered and I don't think there was anything you could have done about it without making a scene. Then YOU would have looked like an ass.

In this situation, you just accept looking like an ass. If there's ever suspicion or doubt, stop.

Better to make a scene with people who don't matter than to leave someone you care about feeling hurt or guilty.

Old thread, but I get some bad vibes here.  The woman didn't owe him anything and she is free to grant or revoke consent at any time.  Got some second base action but didn't progress from there.   Likely because the chemistry just wasn't there.  He describes himself as being rather passive in the scene and expecting her to take the lead.  Maybe she's just not into that.

Reducing swinging to a transactional, you can fuck mine only if I can fuck yours just feels more like prostitution to me.

19 hours ago, NerdsAreFun said:

Reducing swinging to a transactional, you can fuck mine only if I can fuck yours just feels more like prostitution to me.

This is true, but the bottom line is that each couple is in control of their own situation, period.

If someone feels taken advantage of by another couple or isn't sure that things are on the up-and-up, stop. The woman didn't owe him anything, and he doesn't owe the other husband anything, either.